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Will Smith is my Homeboy

It’s incredible how much change you’re able to make once you allow yourself.

Recently, I’ve had to come face to face with deep-seeded insecurities, memories of my past and how I qualified my self worth. Not only did I feel it necessary to bury things, but I broke them into chunks first, too — with the side of my shovel.

It’s not the flip of a switch. It’s harder than that. It’s necessary to feel it all — you have to do it. For your own journey.

Feel the  shame and disappointment in yourself… after you make selfish decisions just because you couldn’t get over yourself…

Feel that false idea you KNOW is there: you’re better somehow. You’ve been through pain. There may be cruel voice somewhere inside you that tells you nobody else has been through this shit; Somehow, you’re better. And now you’re angry.

That old, familiar image in your mind… the visions of yourself in action… that remind you of the pieces of yourself you’ll never get back.

I’m here to tell you: you’re wrong. Wrong about the shame, wrong to think you are entitled… you’re wrong to think you’ve lost yourself.

You are everywhere. Sometimes, in better forms. You just have to reach for it. You’ll reach — high, low, and for the unfamiliar. You’ll occasionally dip back into your pain. You’ll catch glimpses of brighter, happier days. Suddenly, you’ll be making new friends. You’ll lay down on your pillow and catch that you’ve laughed an entire day. Eventually, you’ll do it so many times, it doesn’t seem unusual anymore. Now, it’s routine. You’ve done it. You found her ❤️

 

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